Day #226, LOST

February 26+1, 2017

I am being emotonal and gloomy.

Not because of the miserable weather in Manchester.

Actually I don’t really mind the bad weather. I don’t really seek for sunny and warm places.

It’s because, I have been exchanging emails with my ex about the divorce procedure since last week, and that makes me feel under the weather.

It’s not about how long and complicated the procedure is. It’s the talk and thought about the divorce from someone that I spent 7 years of my life with lot of love and care. I know it’s the right thing to do for both of us, and I won’t go back to him even if he wants, but still, it feels like, a huge part of me is going away. It feels like, the good and bad memories of my life with him will get lost.

I thought I got over him when I decided to move to UK and got a flight ticket in June last year, after 4 months of agony. I haven’t felt miserable when something reminded me of him since. I haven’t cried when I talked to someone about what happened with him since.

But funny, I feel lost when the divorce is coming closer. I want to get it done asap, but I can’t help but feel sad about it.

Will I ever get over it?

Will I ever be totally ok talking about him?

Will I be able to see him and talk to him in person like an old friend?

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