Day #349, My Heart

June 29+1, 2017

Friday morning again, but my last relaxing Friday morning.

I went to the eye hospital as having been appointed from long time ago, and got released after seeing a doctor. I won’t have any more appointment by the hospital unless I make one for myself.

I hope I won’t have this eye problem any more, as I will have normal day cycle now. 

Well, I know I had this eye problem whenever I had this unnoticeable but apparently huge stress thinking about the separation from my ex, but I hope I have different feeling about him now. 

I guess I do. 

I feel sympathetic to him whenever he talks about his mental problem. I dunno if he wants to live like others, but no matter what, he is not happy now and lost the motivation to live. He said he has Asperger Syndrome. And he thinks that was the cause of our separation.

I don’t hate him, and I even think I could live with him again, not sure as what kind of relationship, but I think I don’t want to lose him for good no matter what. The 7 years of relationship is too precious, and he was my family.

Maybe we could live together as a friend? We know each other too well and there are certain things we loved doing together. Wouldn’t that be enough to keep the relationship?

I dunno if I love him or not, or if there are many different kind of love or not, but I don’t think of him as a man who can satisfy me in bed, I think of him as a life companion. 

If he feels same as me, maybe we can live together again?

Ah, I just found out why I haven’t fallen for any guy for a year. Because I still have him in my heart.


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