Day #397, Not Lonely

August 17, 2017

I don’t remember if I ever had this strong butterfly feeling in my stomach with my exes.

I surely would have had something like that, as I wouldn’t start any relationship with anyone without these feelings.

But it feels like, the feeling I have now is something very new, very strong, nothing like in any other relationships. 

Whenever I think of him, talk about him to my friends, play back the moments I had with him, I must look like an idiot as I can’t keep my face straight.

And the thing is, even though he is not with me 24/7, he keeps letting me know his interest in being with me. We were not together last night, and he said today “it feels like I haven’t seen you for ages”, whereas we see each other as colleagues at work all day. He doesn’t make me feel lonely, not like my exes. 

This means a lot to me.

Day #396, Feeling Shit

August 16, 2017

Here we go again.

My dependent tendancy in relationship is getting on my nerves.

He hasn’t contacted me after work for hours, and just sent me a message saying he fell asleep. And no more replies to my messages nor answers to my calls.

Well well well…

Now here I am, imagining lots of things, assuming what’s on his mind etc. 

I feel really shit whenever I am like that.

Day #394, A Year

August 14, 2017

Exactly a year ago from tomorrow, I started working at this company where I belong now.

I had been looking for a job everywhere in UK for 2 weeks while staying at a hostel in London, without knowing where my life would take me, and I saw this job offer from my company on a job search website.

The job itself as a customer advisor was not my ideal career, but those lines about the company’s values hit my heart.

We love doing stuff together.

We love getting things done.

We love being different.

We love straight talking.

We love having fun.

Those values are my values and I straightaway thought this was fate.

I applied for the job, had 2 telephone interviews, got informed that I was taken, and moved to Manchester 2 days before my working day started.

Since then, I have been enjoying being a part of this company that takes care of its employees and have moved to a position that I am passionately into at the moment.

Well, I don’t know where my future will take me from here, but for now, I am bringing my bakes to work to share with my beloved colleagues.

Day #392, 393, Weekend Mornings

August 12, 13, 2017

We got up without an alarm on both mornings.

It’s such a good feeling when you wake up in a warm cuddle and stay like that for another few hours, and finally get up only because your stomachs growl.

I made big breakfasts with bacon, eggs, mushroom, tomatoes, avocados and walnut on toast, while he made coffee.

What a morning.

Day #390, Cook and Foodie

August 10, 2017

I cooked this Marrow that I bought from Philip at Edale last Sunday.

I wanted to cook something soft for my boy friend as he just got his teeth treated, and thought about doing something with the marrow.

I found a very nice recipe on BBC Food, something called Spanish Marrow Bake.

I replaced chorizo with mince beef, and it was really good. He got crazy about it and didn’t stop complimenting. 

The best moment as a cook.

Day #389, Pho Waiting

August 9, 2017

He is seeing a dentist at the moment.

Maybe already done with him.

He said he would come over after dentist unless he feels too shit with pain.

Chicken Pho is in the making for him. This Vietnamese chicken soup with spices will be perfect for his weakened teeth and to strengthen his immune system. Smells amazing.

I really hope he wouldn’t stand me up. 

Day #388, Training

August 8, 2017

Seeing someone from work is a real fun.

I see him at work all day, sneak out to have lunch together, make eye contact whenever passing each other etc etc.

And even if we don’t stay together after work for other stuff to do, it’s not too bad because we saw each other all day at work.

Of course it’s never enough for me, but I need train myself to feel totally ok not being with him all the time.

Need to remember I was totally fine without anyone for the last a year and a half.

Get a grip!